Commencement: Songs from Senior Year

by John Primrose

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1.
02:05
2.
02:21
3.
02:20
4.
03:14
5.
02:40

about

These five songs were written immediately preceding, during, and immediately following my final year of college. I felt excited, anxious, relieved, and afraid, not quite sure of where I would end up after I was finished. Some songs are reflective of my experiences in college while others are geared towards the future. One song I wrote to lift my spirits after I became depressed. That happened a few times that year. Still, it was a pretty good one. Enjoy.

EXPLICIT CONTENT WARNING: The songs "Monster" and "City of Sin" contain EXPLICIT LYRICS. Parental Advisory / a pair of headphones is recommended.

credits

released 28 June 2013

All of these songs were written and produced by John Primrose. John sang and played electric guitar and acoustic guitar. Every other instrument was arranged digitally (by John). Everything was recorded in John's apartment throughout May and June of 2013. Y'all can't match John's hustle.

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about

John Primrose Boise, Idaho

John Primrose is 23 years old and lives in Idaho. John's hobbies include music, singing, yelling, songwriting, playing instruments, experimenting with music production, recording, mixing, not drawing very often, knitting, and crocheting. John has many, many feelings. ... more

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Track Name: Success!
Here's a toast to success! Here's a toast to living the dream! I'll drink it to the very bottom as my smile beams. But do I really believe? Do I really believe that it could be? I don't know. I'll keep singing these songs and in due time, we'll see. And they're all gonna ask me, "Don't you have a plan?" Well, no, I don't. I'll just move to the beat of my wild heart and then throw a party when it all falls apart.

Here's a toast to complacency! To contentment with all that you have and no more! I'll drink it down bottoms up and I'll crash it to the floor. What am I doing this for? I don't know, but it's too fun to stop, and the doubt doesn't bother me anymore. And they all ask me, "Don't you have a plan?" Well, no, I don't. I'll just move to the beat and sing my favorite part and wait for the break down with joy in my heart.

Here's a toast to wasting your life! A toast to chasing that carrot on a stick! I'll drink from a whole quart to that until it makes me sick. How could I run so aimless? Is life some sort of race? Am I supposed to get ahead? Well, I'd rather run laps in the sandbox instead. And you ask me, "Don't you have a plan?" Well, no, I don't. So go wait for the gun to break from the start and I'll sit here and watch while your race falls apart.

And they keep asking where I see myself in ten years. I see me doing the same thing, standing right here, waiting for that big leap ahead. And if I wait forever, I'm not gonna dread. But I'll always make sure I'm living the life to leave a smile on my face when I'm dead.
Track Name: Monster
A monster is lurking beneath these tiles, but nobody seems to notice it. You all burst with laughter, exchanging smiles, treading carelessly over it. But its breath passes through open doors and its footsteps are shaking the floors and I don't know how you can stand to ignore and evil so repulsive and pure. And I don't like the stench of the bile that seeps out of its mouth, it's been lingering a long while. And some of us just clench our noses, and others insist that the shit smells like roses, but no one ever talks about this bane. Am I hallucinating? Am I going insane?

It feeds on every judgement made, it feeds on every secret spilled, it feeds on every petty little criticism, and every glare of resentment.

It feeds on every trust betrayed, it feeds on the flour of the rumor mill, it feeds on the bitter berries of cynicism, and every seed of contention.

And it grows.

The monster is breaking right through these tiles, and I could swear that you notice it. You all laugh and you sculpt your smiles, knit a blanket of pleasantries to cast over it. But the bile's seeping all down the walls and its breath is rattling the lockers in the hall and the chandeliers look like they're going to fall and you all pretend that its nothing at all. But I don't like the sound of its growl and I can hear it resonate in each one of our mouths and now I know it's not in my mind and its tendrils are reaching out of the corner to bind me. And the evil will devour us one by one. Run.
Track Name: Sunbeams
Darkness comes and brings torrential rain. An ocean swallows you in waves of pain. You start to drown and lose your strength to fight. You struggle to find a single glint of light, but the sun shines through your eyes. It can break through any night, and there is no brighter light.

Thunder rolls and shakes you to your core. Lightning strikes the ocean as it roars. You reach into the dark and find no one. Clouds as black as smoke block out your sun, but there are sunbeams in your smile. They glow radiant and warm, breaking clouds in thunderstorms.

I know that it can be hard to smile. I know the darkness can last a while. I know that comfort doesn't come from songs. I know it's hard to be strong when the storm's inside your mind. You just let the rain pour from your eyes, but for the sake of love, try to smile.

When you can find no love to give within your heart, there is love within your smile. And the soul bathes in that light, so keep on shining with all your might.
Track Name: City of Sin
There's nuttin' to do in this town but drink (Drink!) and let our sorrows sink in an ocean of wine. It really is a pain to think of living here, so we drink like we're trying to die. We drink for mercy. We fill our cups with relief from the bitter waking death. We drink to love. We drink to our youth. We drink to any good that we have left.

(Chorus)
And how we strive for endless nights to wash out the painful days, and pray the sun will never rise so we don't have to face its blinding rays, and every day through all those nights is nothing but more of the same, and we are trapped here until we die and there is no other escape.

There's nuttin' to do in this town but fuck (Fuck!) and try to buck the boredom that saps all our joy. We get off if we have the luck; its the best thing to hope for in this miserable void. Those treasured moments of pleasure and bliss come quickly and flee just as fast, and times of loneliness and times of sorrow seem to be the only ones that last.

(Chorus)

There's nuttin' to do in this town but waste (Waste away...) away the potential we got with our wings. We were birds once with songs in our hearts, but now we have no strength to fly and nothing to sing. And we can't migrate, we can't reach the trees, so we've built our nests on this barren ground, and vultures circle us constantly, and every morning we awake to their horrible sounds.

And how we've strived for endless nights to wash out the painful days. And I could rot here for all my life, but hand to God, I'm gonna fly away. But I'll remember all of the good times that really didn't all turn out so well. Oh, where will I go after I die? It's far too soon to tell. But I feel ready for hell.
Track Name: Commencement
Outward and onward, from this day you are free, to venture, to wander, to follow the life that you dream. Free to leave and find the place where you belong, free to dance in time to the beat of your own song.

Outward and onward to face a brand new life. Run fast enough and you might break from your strife. Far and away to escape your painful memories. Digging deep to find a place you can always be and settle into peace.

Outward and onward to greener grasses beyond. They beckon, they call you, they welcome you with open arms. They welcome you to free yourself and forge your own frontier. They welcome you to find the place that you couldn't find here. It's got to be out there.